Tears & Blessings

Crying is good for the soul sometimes. You can cleanse yourself of all the nonsense that clutters our lives on a day-to-day basis. God has truly blessed me with talents and gifts, but I really need to learn the art of patience. Right now, I am so impatient…I want every thing now…new job...now, more money, now…modeling/acting career, now…Husband…hmmm, I can actually wait on that one, lol. I don’t know. It’s just been one of those days. I am a little stressed, but life is good…and I shouldn’t complain too much. As long as I keep grinding and keep God first, I will be more than okay in the end.

Happy Anniversary to me!!!


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I love working on this magazine. I can't believe it's been a year already....time does indeed fly. I am thankful for my challenges and successes...and this has definitely been a success.

Pet Peeves

It's been an unusually long and taxing day...and it's not even 10pm yet. Lord knows I don't shut it down until 3:00 a.m. so you know I'm bugging out right now. I can take more hours of this...here's how the day started...8am-conference call (I'm already half sleep because I haven't had what my friend Champion likes to call liquid crack, I call it a Mocha Latte w/soy). 9am-breakfast meeting (I'm vegan and living in the South...what the heck am I going to eat at southern soul food restaurant???). 10-12 more meetings and conference calls...1-2:30 pm -choose models, find make up artist, confirm entertainment, replace trifling model, finalize monthly newsletter, 3pm-now -the regular gig...helped train new people, work on a couple of special projects, log on to the internet to let off some steam.

Okay so what I would like to know is what are some of y'all's biggest pet peeves in the business world. I have two: unreliable people and being ignored. I have been trying to touch base with a few people this week to no avail...without any acknowledgment that I have been trying to contact them...to send business their way...freakin' amazing...and then I had to replace two unreliable models today for the soiree on next Friday...yes I repeat, next Friday. Then I had a makeup artist cancel on me...I NEED AN ASSISTANT...I already have one, but I put him to work as a writer...the other assistant wanted to model instead. I can't keep any assistants. Fortunately my publicist is still speaking to me, so I guess all is still good with the world. Just had to rant a little....hmmm, just thought of somewhere else to post this less than poetic gripe about business and leading a busy life.

One Man's Opinion (image courtesy of TLR Photography)


Yesterday was one of those days…tiring but productive. And I am always thankful for when I can wake up in the morning in my right mind, with the use of my limbs and knowing that God loves me. Every day seems like a step closer to salvation (take that however you want). This modeling game is crazy. I had an accomplished photographer give me some advice regarding my look. Essentially, he told me my packaging and marketing efforts sucked…that my look scares white middle America, and that’s one of the reasons why I am not with an agency or booking any substantial jobs. His one suggestion was for me to cut my hair to at least my shoulders and stop taking “hoochie” shots. Basically, he told me I was doing everything wrong. Fortunately, I have a thick skin…but it did get me to think, how do I really want to market myself? I have studied marketing and promotions extensively, yet I have not used those skills for my own benefit…I am working on getting it together. Things always work themselves out for the better.

Sex and the Single Girl


Okay, so I decided to embark on this whole celibacy quest…it’s turning out to be a struggle at times. Let me just get it all out in the open…before I gave my life to Christ, I was literally inundated with lustful thoughts. I actually think I thought about sex as much if not more than most of the guys I know. I broke up with ex-man for the first time (yeah I said first time) at the end of 2003 and I literally went buck wild. Don’t get me wrong, I have great taste in men and I was quite the discerning connoisseur, but I was straight up and down leading a sexually amoral lifestyle. I was safe (if you didn’t want to wear a condom, we did not play)…but adventurous with a select few…Fortunately, the number of men I have had intimate relations with is still in the single digits. It’s still difficult to stay on the straight and narrow sometimes, but I am proud of myself so far…it’s all about God because if I were to let my body have its way, I’d be in trouble right now. The next man who touches me sexually will be my husband. So what’s the point of this blog? …Not really sure. Just that I am turning over a new leaf, and it feels good. Like my favorite activist Frederick Douglas said, “Without struggle, there is no progress.”

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