Questions

Questions
By Jameka “Poetri” Whitten

Did you feel it?
That comfort that only comes from being with the one you love to touch…to hold...to experience.

Did you hear it?
My trembling voice as I whispered your name over and over again while I caressed your ear with my tongue

Did you mean it?
When I asked, “What would you like?” And you said, “Everything.”

I’m asking you publicly, but I await a secret answer for just the two of us to share.

Did you feel it?
My unconditional love for you…

Dating Etiquette

10 Things Men should always do:

1). Call the next day after a date or an intimate encounter. Unless it was a one night stand, you should always call the next day or else the lady feels a bit used. Text messages and emails do not count. A quick "thank you" call is always appreciated.

2). Do not answer your cell phone during the date (that also goes for any pda's as well). If you do answer your phone, please do not talk at length with a member of the opposite sex...and try to limit the number of times you call the woman on the other end of the phone baby or some other form or endearment. Could cause your current date to feel a bit uneasy. It's called respect.

3). Compliment your date's appearance. She probably took time to look nice for you, so you'll get massive points if you actually notice that she looks nice.

4). At least offer to pay for dinner. The entire dinner. She may not let you, but at least act like you are going to take care of the bill. Also, if you do not drive, and she has to pick you up, offer to pay for gas. This is the Bush era, gas is expensive.

5). Try to keep ex girlfriends and significant others out of the conversation. I know it can often come up, but the woman wants to know that it is all about her at the moment, not your past dating disasters.

6). Keep good eye contact, that lets the woman know that you are both interested in her and what she has to say.

7). Do not let your eyes wander. Even if the waitress is super attractive, do not, and I repeat, do not say one word. The only exception is if your date makes a statement about how attractive the other woman is...only then are you allowed to comment.

8). Hygiene is important. Dress appropriately and be clean. The woman will appreciate you all the more.

9). Have suggestions on things to do and activities. There's nothing worse than hearing, "whatever you want to do" over and over during a date. It makes it seem like you didn't care enough to plan. Even if it is a spontaneous thing, always have something in the back of your mind...some kind of plan b.

10). Smile...and enjoy yourself. A date is supposed to be fun. If you are not comfortable, then you are doing something wrong.

Fellas, What are the 10 things you think woman should always do on a date? Your feedback is welcome.

Wow


So no long drawn out blog this morning...too much work to finish after being out of town all weekend, which I am not sure I am going to write about. For the first time, I think I may keep my thoughts about my trip to myself. Let's just say, I had an great/interesting/intense/relaxing time. And above all else, no regrets and I'm glad I went.

I rode the train back home yesterday, and I shared a seat with the coolest woman. We talked about everything: men, relationships, our ideal marriage proposals, her boyfriend, my "friend" (he doesn't get a designation because he doesn't want one...he's enjoying his single status as of late...and I am too for the moment). Well, what was significant about this conversation was as I described my relationship with my "friend"...i.e. his personality, how he carries himself, how we relate to each other, how we feel about each other, etc...she just looked at me and smiled...And then made the profound, yet seemingly obvious statement, "Girl, you're in love." "What, no. We just care about each other," I reply. She repeats, "girl, you're in love...regardless of whether or not you are aware of it, you're in love. It's obvious."

Damn! That changes the whole game. Sometimes it takes a stranger to reaffirm what you already knew in the first place. So great, I'm in love with the unattainable...now what. Gotta love my life, never a dull moment inside my head...

Hope everyone had a great weekend.

I momentarily lost my mind...

Talk about taking things way too seriously this morning...After an entire day of working on various projects, I'm getting ready to let loose a little this evening. It just hit me. It's not that serious. Ladies, I can guarantee that these men are not losing any sleep over us and having a relationship (I know you feel me on this one Ms. Onika Pascal). They are out enjoying life...and that is exactly what I intend to do...I've been having such a ball lately, and I stupidly let some dumb thoughts creep back into my mind and ruin my mood this morning...dumb, dumb, dumb. Never again. Feel free to snatch my a@# back into reality if I start down this road again. I am a fabulous human being and I deserve the affection of someone who wants to give that affection without me pushing them into anything. So I apologize to myself and all of y'all for my temporary mind loss...never again. I'm back, sexy, single and ready to explore the possibilities of life ...And please note, as I have stated before, just 'cause I want to make myself more available doesn't even remotely negate my feelings for "the guy." They are still very much there, and growing more each day unfortunately. If I had not actually caught feelings for this individual, then maybe my blog as of late would have a slightly different tune. But so what, I think heartache and relationship woes makes me a much more interesting person. Empowered, secure, sensitive, fragile, confident, strong...each one of those characteristics describe me...I am not bound by convention and I cannot be labeled and put in a box. I love being me.

Love you all...Have a great rest of your weekend. Peace & Blessings.

-Jameka

Calling me baby...

I posted the following back in May:

If a guy that you are interested in who NEVER uses certain terms of endearments (baby, sweetheart, etc.) with any other women other than you starts calling another woman "baby," "sweetheart," etc. in public...or more accurately online, does that mean anything?

I'm bringing this up because I noticed it again. While I was searching around Myspace, checking out people's profiles, seeing what's new in the lives of my friends...just doing the daily myspace thing, I came across a page in which "the guy" left a comment on this woman's page (who he says he isn't feeling like that, but I'm almost positive she's interested in him) and referred to her as "baby." This is probably the 5th or 6th time I've noticed this. And I'm not talking about a woman that he has known forever, just someone he met this year. I don't even think he's even conscious of it. Don't get me wrong, I know that this is not a big deal, but that annoyed me so much this morning. I'm not jealous of her as a person, but I guess I'm jealous of the affection and the time they spend together. Even though, he says that he isn't feeling her, she still has the same permissions that I do...for example, she can call him in the middle of the night (3 or 4 in the morning on a week night) and he won't put her in check...She can make advances or innappropriate propositions, and he won't check her on it...he refers to her in the same way he refers to me (i.e. the reason why him calling her "baby" irritates me so much)...so that sends me a message about their relationship and his comfort level with her. People can always tell you what's up, but actions speak volumes. I'm not his girlfriend so I guess I can't really complain. But I had to get this out, since that's exactly what blogs are for.

This Season’s Hottest Accessory…

You are gearing up for a fabulous night out on the town. It's summer and the night air is literally humming with excitement. You look absolutely breathtaking as you take one last long look at yourself in the hall mirror before your gorgeous date arrives to whisk you away for what you hope is a magical evening. As you stare at yourself, you notice that physically you are stunning. Fresh from the salon, your hair and make-up is flawless. The baby oil has your skin kissably soft and subtly glistening. You look beautiful; nonetheless your look is simply incomplete without this season’s must-have accessory—-self-confidence.

We’ve all heard the adage beauty is only skin deep. Well, I am not convinced that is entirely true. Real beauty starts from within, deep within. “True beauty is internal, but reveals itself to the world through words, actions, and appearances,” says Keith Menendez, 33 year-old father of three, when asked what makes a woman beautiful. Greg Phillian, 54, a freelance writer, finds women beautiful who have a “sense of being at home with self."

If you do not believe you are beautiful first, then one else will either. Don't get me wrong, full lips, wide set eyes, and features that are both proportional and symmetrical are all characteristics clearly aesthetically pleasing to the eye. But beauty, real beauty—that's a whole other story. "You can be considered attractive by societal standards without self confidence," says Dr. Khendra Peay, a 29-year-old psychiatry resident. "However, self-confidence can bring you to your full potential as a beautiful woman where you don't care what society sees,” Dr. Peay explains. “It's what you see that matters." Building self-confidence should be a part of every woman’s beauty regime. It’s just as important as cleansing your face in the morning or drinking enough water each day. Confidence in one’s own life can have a miraculous effect on the complexion. Having that inner glow from knowing you are someone special can literally make you sparkle.

Here are a few tips to bringing that beautiful inner “shine” to the surface:

• Positive Affirmations. Repeat phrases like, “ I am beautiful” in the mirror at least three times a day. It may seem silly at first, but repeating this mantra to oneself can work wonders. Scripture even teaches the power of life and death is in the tongue. Simply put, the more you say something, the more you believe it.
• Eliminate Negativity. Surround yourself with as much positivity as possible. Sometimes just being around confident, competent and positive people can help boost one’s own self-esteem tremendously. Stay away from those individuals who are uninspired and seething with negativity, they will only bring you down.
• Believe in Yourself. Erase the phrase “I can’t” from your vocabulary. Each one of us has her own special gifts and talents. Take the time to find yours. Self-doubt is not attractive.
• Enjoy Life. Find something to smile and laugh about each day. Joy in your life is essential to having healthy levels of confidence and self esteem. Find beauty in the world around you, and the beauty within you will shine outward as a result.

Classic film star and talent actress Rosalind Russell once said, “taking joy in living is a woman’s best cosmetic.” I could not agree more. Please don’t forget next time you are gearing up to go out on the town to wear your most important fashion accessory before leaving the house.

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