Erin & Meka

Erin is one of the absolute best people I have ever met. So I thought I would put her picture up. Enjoy!

It's an interesting life

To say the very least...life is interesting. All those unexpected twists and turns do indeed make for a bumpy, yet meaningful ride. There are quite a few things I find very interesting as well as disturbing...let's take a look at the list:

1. So the guy that I was feeling ( and devoted two whole blog posts to) is indeed feeling me...however, due to reasons beyond my control and his...there's no real future in that relationship. If only he were not so darn charming and attractive...

2. I'm extremely sexually attracted to one of my friends. He's a friend and although there is definitely no want for anything deeper than friendship on either side (I don't want him as a boyfriend, I think we would be horrible as a couple...and I know for a fact he doesn't like me like that either), when we speak, which we regularly do...I can't keep my mind off of sex. I know you all must be laughing at me right about now...considering I am doing my best to adhere to the whole celibacy thing...but I am just being real. THIS CRAP is hard to do. I knew it would be difficult, but Lord knows I didn't know it would be this hard, lol. Fortunately I am armed with Jesus, the Word and great friends who know how to distract by engaging me in other types of conversation.

3. I'm a bit worried about my brother. He is going through quite a bit right now and I am fervently praying for his deliverance. He's suffering from some addictions that could be life threatening. Lord knows I can't save him, but fortunately God can and will. Prayer indeed changes things.


Let's see what tomorrow brings...Joy does indeed come in the morning...

***Update

Well, as I predicted, Mr. wonderful has not called. I guess it was not meant to be. Ah well, such is life. I have plenty to be thankful for...God loves me, a great family, my life, health and strength...in the grand scheme of things that's all I really need.

Damn!!!

I have actually been making an concious effort not to curse or use too many swear words, but let me just tell you that is getting more and more difficult by the second b/c my patience is currently being tested...I am trying so hard to be cool, calm and collected with guy that I just met, but I find myself being just the opposite...why? Because he excites me, and I'm not just speaking sexually, but he stimulates me in a way no one has really has in a very long time. And honestly I am a bit afraid of either (a) moving too quickly and getting hurt or (b) moving too slowly, he loses interests and I still get hurt. I'm trying to be more positive, but it's hard and I am not, I repeat, not a patient person. I work hard, I live life, and I want what I want when I want it. So yeah, I guess I am a spoiled brat---but only when it comes to my feelings and emotions. It just comes down to what everyone wants in this life---wanting to give and receive love in whatever form. Geeze, you would think it gets easier as one gets older...not so, lol.

Too Good to be True

It's crazy, I am so positive when it comes to some things...but when it comes to men and possible relationships, I tend to be on the cynical side. I just met a great brother over the weekend: nice, down to earth, attractive, respectful and attentive...yet, I am waiting for the bottom to drop. Irrational? Of course...but I can't help it. I must say though that it was so refreshing to meet someone who isn't into playing games and messing with my head. But it's been so long since I have been in this "Dating" game that I feel as if I am losing my edge. I am caught in the middle of not wanting to seem too eager and not wanting to give the wrong impression. Perhaps I am just waiting to wake up b/c this seems way too good to be true.