Confessions

As I am getting ready for service this morning, it hit me like a ton of bricks...I would really like to get married soon, and at least have the option of having one kid (yes I said one...I'm my mother's only child, and I enjoyed having my own room and my own stuff). This may not be groundbreaking news to y'all, but for me this is a frightening revelation. Maybe it's all the talk of people being pregnant and getting married that has me yearning for more...but I can't help it. My favorite guy cousin told me that I'm 30 now and it's time for me to start making some decisions...so now the family pressure is on...every time I go to a family gathering, "so who are you dating?"..."What ever happened to the guy you brought to church", etc., etc... Other than that, I'd make a great mom and wife, I learned from the best women on the planet (my mother, my aunts, grandma---all phenomenal women)...

It really doesn't help that the one person I want to start dating exclusively and possibly explore something serious with is far away...while I know I can handle the long distance thing, I'm not sure he can...or better yet if he even wants to or has considered the possibility. Knowing my luck, he'll meet this great woman in his own city, and then I won't have to worry about this anymore (which would really, really, really suck), lol. Don't get my wrong y'all...I'm just thinking out loud here, everything happens in God's time and in the way it is supposed to happen. It's just that I can't help but vent...I'm a sensitive, romantic artist--that's how I'm made...and I wouldn't trade how I view the world and think about things for anything in the world...that's what makes me, me.


You know what else I like about myself...that I am not afraid to be personal and real on a public blog, granted I don't name names...but I am honest about who I am. I will never apologize for letting it all hang out so to speak. The confidence intermixed with the little insecurities that we all have, yet are afraid to talk about...I let it all out...