Sexiness Defined

Why is it that the brothers that you don't want are the ones who are bold enough to ask for what they want. While, the men that you are attracted to play all of the games...or better yet, play the "I'm married to my career card"...yet I guarantee, those are the same ones who are easily swayed by the women who are not good for them, or at least not worth their time. Listen, I have a lot going on too, but I am a firm believer in you make time for the things that you really want...which leads me into the topic at hand. Jameka's definition of sexy...Now, I usually don't like using the word sexy, but for today's lesson, we are simply stuck with it. As I have mentioned in numerous previous entries, I get soooo many emails per day asking me crazy stuff...however, one consistent theme is "what do I find attractive and sexy in the opposite sex" (unfortunately that question is not routinely phrased in such a grammatically correct manner, but more on that later). I figured since so many people wanted to know, I would give you what you keep asking for. I am posting this in two places...on myspace and on "Thoughts on Being Seen (" So here we go:

What I find attractive, sensual and sexy in a man:

1). Strong Spiritual Connection
Nothing is more attractive to me than someone who knows that God is not only at the center of his life, but at the head. No matter how confident and talented a man may be, if he doesn't attribute his success to God, then we have no future.

2). Intelligence/Excellent Communication Skills
I'm not asking for a Harvard graduate here, just someone who can put together a coherent sentence, has the ability to speak in basic proper English and isn't afraid to express himself completely with me. I love to talk, and I love to hear the man that I am with talk about himself---Tell me about your day, what pissed you off, what made you happy...and please don't forget to ask me about my day as well. I want to know that you care about what's going on with me in my world. And I definitely want to know about what's going on with you. I'm a strong independent woman, who is looking for an equally strong man to build with.

3). Honesty
Tell me the truth, and we will always be okay. Fellas, know this, lies and half-truths matter how you slice it, they hurt.

4)Sense of Humor
A man who can laugh at himself and the world around him is such a turn on. I like my men a little silly, sarcastic and very witty. I'm quite sarcastic, so you have to be able to keep up with me. I find something to laugh and smile about each day.

5)Personal Style
I find men who have their own distinct sense of personal style appealing because it shows me that they are comfortable in their own skin. There should never be a time, I mean under any circumstances, should you look like you walked into a store and purchased exactly what the mannequin was wearing...or better yet, liking a celebrity's style is one thing...completely emulating them, something completely different. Fellas, you are not Kanye, stop dressing exactly like him.

6) Talent & Ambition
For me, ambition is sexy...if you know what you want and you go for your dreams, then I will be your biggest cheerleader and encourager. I'm working hard to make my mark in the industry too, so I know how difficult it can be without a partner to bounce ideas off from and without someone with whom you can share your excitement. And let's face it, I have a very soft spot in my heart for Poets, Musicians, Actors, Writers, Graphic Designers, Artists, Producers, Photographers and anyone else who is talented and has chosen a "creative" career path. Y'all are my weakness...However, as talented as a man may be, if he doesn't have the drive and passion to back the talent dice.

7) Confidence
I love it when a man is strong and confident in himself. I hate it when he is arrogant. You can be sure of yourself and still humble at the same time. Humility is a beautiful thing...and sexy too.

I like romance. And I am a southern belle at heart, so I find true gentlemen attractive. I will allow you to open doors, pay for dates and help me with my coat. I like it when you guide me through the crowd on a busy street. I enjoy flowers on occaision (fyi- pink roses are my favorite)

9)Common sense/Street Smarts
I grew up in the hood. I have a lot of people in my family who still have that deep ghetto mentality. I need someone who can understand my experiences, doesn't get squimish at the sound of a gunshot or get scared when you see the thugs hanging out on the corner...I am just as comfortable in the hood as I am in the boardroom, and I need someone who can roll with that.

10) Respectful
My motto for 2006 is "Come correct, or Don't come at all." At lot of that has to do with respect for oneself and others. Do not, and I repeat call me "ma," "honey," "boo" or "baby" without permission. There is currently only one man who is allowed to call me "baby" and he knows who he is. He has my affection and permission...anyone else, my name is Jameka.

Well, that's my list for's a work in progress. I didn't really put any physical attributes on the list because that is not what is most important...Clearly from the men on my top 16, you can see that I enjoy the company of attractive men; however, looks fade.

Comments are welcomed:)

Peace & Blessings

What kind of love is right for you? (girls only)

TRUE LOVE! is right for're romantic loving and caring, your love is gentel and honest. You will do anything for your loved one and he will do anything for you. You two just like being with each other. I hope you will find your true love...or if you already found it hold on to it, because you probably dont know how lucky you are.
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