When Did Settling Become Okay?

I was doing some rather intense introspective musings the other day (yeah, what I do in my spare time), and I came to a shocking conclusion. Why am I forcing myself to “settle?” When did settling somehow become acceptable behavior for people—especially in the dating and relationship sphere? Please don’t take what I am about to present as condescending. By no means am I suggested that I, or anyone for that matter, is better than the next individual. But what I am proposing is that when it comes to our emotional health, we have to learn how to make better decisions.


For example, I don’t understand why women who have done everything right (in terms of career, education, spiritual development, practicing love and compassion) continually put themselves in a position to just expect less. These are the women who, for whatever reason, have forgotten that they don’t have to settle for less than what they deserve. If you are a single woman with goals and aspirations, why are you with someone with four or five kids by several different women, who doesn’t have enough time/money/emotional strength to give you what is needed to sustain a meaningful relationship? I get it. LOVE. Been there, done that. However, after a point, we must ask ourselves, when is love not enough. I don’t know about you but I need love, coupled with mutual respect; I need love backed by compassion and an awareness of my needs---not just his; I need love fused with responsible behavior—running the streets or sharing me with another woman is just not a viable option for a relationship to work today, tomorrow or ever.

I’ve been told that women who are deemed “intimidating” will always have a problem finding and sustaining relationships with men who can (a) appreciate us and (b) keep up. I reject that. So as scary as it may be, I would rather be alone than settle for less than what God has in store for me. Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s step our game up…we are capable of being so much better to each other.

Settling is not an option—or at least it shouldn’t be.


"Creativity is a Drug I can't live without"