Mondays

I am happy to be alive and all…but Mondays in general drag along at a snail’s pace. I am so ready to move on to another chapter in my life. I feel as if I should be doing more…socially, spiritually, creatively…As I have undoubtedly stated before, I have very little patience. I hate waiting. It’s as if I am waiting for my life to begin in a certain sense. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very driven and passionate about what I am currently doing in my life, but I sometimes wonder what’s next. I’m getting a bit restless, and I feel like I should somehow be in preparation for what’s next…I guess I am just rambling at this point. But on to a different subject…

So I am currently interested in a couple of guys right now. And I am only looking for simple companionship…still very friendly, not too deep, not necessarily exclusive, but something more than what I have now. I want someone in my life I can really talk to and who listens to me. Someone who does not have all of these ulterior motives. I am not ready to get married or anything (and having kids is a long shot at best at this point in life…I think I may be too selfishJ), I just want to casually date around and have some fun. However, here is the dilemma. There is a guy that I am really, really feeling, but he lives all the way in New York, is super busy and doesn’t see me in that way. Plus, he’s got so many women in his life (friends, business associates, ex-girlfriends, etc.) that I am not too sure where I would fit into the mix. As a matter of fact, I am not even sure if he finds me physically attractive, but he does not communicate his intentions very clearly and I have been explicit with the fact that I like him…Ah well, such is life. Then there is someone locally that I am somewhat attracted to…he’s an artist, writes poetry, cute and wonderfully expressive creatively…nevertheless, he does not have any interpersonal communication skills so I am clueless as to how he actually perceives me (as a friend, potential date, etc.) Then there’s one of my church members. He’s younger by a couple of years, but extremely physically attractive and quite nice to me….but again, no one has made a move. It’s such a ridiculous situation…perhaps I’ll just move to Utah and become a recluse. Stranger things have happened…Maybe I’m too picky, I could try to lower my standards, but I think I’d just end up getting bored way too quickly.


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