Let the Courtship Begin

I generally have a tendency not to take men and what they say too seriously. So when I receive compliments from men, I thank them, I may flirt a little, but I always keep it moving. It's just easier that way. That way you never have to worry about separating the sincere guys from the not so sincere guys because if you simply put everyone in the same category, then the cream will eventually rise to the top...and boy, is that definitely happening to me right now.

The good men are coming out of the woodwork. When I say good men, I mean those who are spirtually aware, have ambition, have jobs (I hate to be that way, but I'm 30 years old with a mortgage, a man with a job is crucial) and are not afraid to show me that they want me. What's amazing to me is that they are all just as busy as I am, but they make sure to keep themselves under my radar so to speak. I admire that. For instance, brother #1 told me recently that he wants it known that he is checking for me. He said that although he is not ready for a serious commitment right at this moment, he's coming for me when the time is right. I laughed and asked him if I was supposed to just wait on him...and he said the right words...If God has ordained us to be together, that when I am ready to give you everything you need, you will be single and everything will work itself out perfectly. And this is from a guy who hates long distance relationships but is willing to make an exception for me. Do you know how special that makes me feel...Unfortunately, I don't have feelings for this man. What's a little disheartening is that the guy that I do love (yeah I said it...still scary to say it out loud), is in a similar situation with being busy and trying to build a stronger foundation careerwise has never once said that he actually wanted to be with me...never...he's said that he cares a lot about me, that I'm a great person, guys would be thrilled to have me in their life, but he has never once said that when he gets himself to a point where he wants someone in his life that he wants that person to be me. That's real. Dammit. I did it again. I fell for the unattainable man. Maybe I imagined the spark, the comfort and the connection between us. Very possible, considering I am quite imaginative, lol.

Nevertheless, I promised that I was going to just let go and see what happens...and that's still my intention. You can't force people to be anything other than who they are and who they are meant to be:-) People aren't perfect and that's what I love about being human---there's room for mistakes and even more room for redemption.